In Between

The holidays are nearly over...this is an in-between time before the start of the new year.  A time I like to spend reviewing, redirecting, regretting and rejoicing.

I will have, at the very least, a much more functional left hand to use in the new year!  Pics to follow, the cast is off today.  Cause for great rejoicing!

I will use this week to plan the next steps for both this blog and for Imadilley, and in so doing, plan the next steps for my many projects.

I AM going to get my home and home-life sorted out.  There are people out there who will want and enjoy the many things I have piled up, pretty much all over the place, and I am going to get that stuff out there for them to find them.  Books to the church for the annual sale, old lamps to Habitat for Humanity, lots of clothes that haven't seen the light of day for years.  What does one do with old bed pillows...I don't want to sleep on them, they are lumpy and grubby.  Is there a charity that wants them?  I'll find one lest they go into the landfill.

Can I just say in closing that NONE on the things listed in the sidebar have been finished or fixed.  How bad is that?!

Is that the end of the tunnel or is it a train heading my way?

I should change my subtitle to 'Hang On, The Ride Isn't Over'.

This has been a wild and crazy summer - not at all what I expected.  I knew pretty clearly what the ten days in New England would be like, I had a fair idea about how difficult the two weeks minding the Gkids at the ranch would be, I knew that was closely followed by a weekend workshop at the Guild.  I didn't plan to be so very much involved the Kitchens kitchen remodel.  I spent two weeks/10 hour days working on hardwood flooring, drywall, painting, dog sitting, Nanny-granny.  And it is not over!!  Thankfully, the remodelers went on vacation so I can stay home and mind my own 'stuff' for a little while.  Man, have I fallen behind!

But the end IS in sight.  Yesterday I slept, read (two books) and vegged.  Today I visited God and did yard work.  I still have some Nanny-granny work to do and will help out (when asked) on the remodel and try very hard to be in my own life and doing my own things.

It is a struggle when family is so important to me and I so enjoy spending time with my kids.  But I don't put me first nearly enough.  I truly do have work that I want to do, that is important to me.  I just need to get better at saying 'No' to others and 'Yes' to me.

Home at last!

It has been difficult to be gone for nearly a month.  To come home in the middle and see the devistation from the hailstorm.  To come home now and have so little energy to begin, to pick up pieces of my life and get moving again.  But that is what I must/want to do.  Yes, I am wazzed but I have no intentions of staying here.  I have new goals, new skills and plenty of reasons to get moving.

Today:
   Clean it  - the kitchen will be company-clean by bedtime.
   Fix it      - the back yard sprinkler system will not longer be leaking.
   Finish it - the connection for the entry garden will be completed

It has been raining so everything is green and growing, including the weeds.  And it was 63 in my house this morning...all good reasons to get outside and tend to my goals.  I can clean the kitchen tonight in the dark.

I forgot to add Find It to my list today...find my purse.  Fortunately there is not too much stuff in it, the usual important things, credit cards, driver's license, tissues.  The biggest loss is my camera.  I feel that I misplaced it somewhere in the hectic pace of getting settled back at home but I can't find the darn thing.  Needless to say, I spent much on my time and energy looking for it, to no avail.  :-(

And the Fix it project (the backyard sprinkler system) is now not just leaking but is broken and I must dig it out and replace a part.  again with the  :-(
But the kitchen is clean.  Maybe not really company-clean but clean.  I also made soul food - brownies!

Sunshine!

After many days of rain, the sun is shining.  Though today is 'snowing' from my old silver popular tree.  Most of my cleaning efforts are going into the garden and yard.  Under the excuse that I needed to get fertilizer for the yard (truth) I went to the nursery.  Yes, I did get the fertilizer and will put it down tomorrow before the rains come again.  I also bought pansies because the ones I planted last year did, in fact, come back and are gorgeous.  And shrubberies to hide the mess in my neighbors yard.  It's behind their boat so they don't see it.  I bought an Annabelle Hydrangia, a yellow twig dogwood and a red twig dogwood.  They were 4/$20 instead of $9.99 ea.  Where can you get that kind of return on your money these days?!  Except now I need to get four more...I need two more of the dogwood so might as well get two more of something.  Maybe two more of the Inkberry Holly which will end up in the back yard.
Now, my normal mode is to let everything sit until it is nearly dead before planting.  I have made promises to myself that I wouldn't buy plants until I actually have the ground dug for them but I'm not very good at keeping promises to myself.  (This could be a topic for another blog entirely.)  The pansies are in the ground! and the spot for the hydrangia is ready.  More work needs to be done before the area is cleaned up for the dogwoods but, I promise, I will get it ready before I go get more.
I looked at my 'before' pictures but there are none that are not too embarrising to post.
As for Fixing or Finishing, those will have to wait.

Grumpy

I am stunningly grumpy today, for a lot of reasons, none of which are really too justifiable. 
I've been rejected from a juried show, I am struggling with a personal relationship, a family member is hospitalized, a friend broke her arm, I couldn't get myself out to do my job and my art work is simply NOT GETTING DONE.  So I stay awake at night worrying about it all and am too tired during the day to address any of it. 
In reality, I worked in the gallery all morning, I am doing laundry, the kitchen is clean, I am finishing a sewing project and have gifts and cards ready for Mom for Mother's Day.  A little credit here, please!
Wonder why I need to be so hard on myself?  Wonder what it will take to change that?  Didn't I just read a book that talked about this whole issue?  Here it is, in fact, right by my elbow...One Step Can Change Your Life.  Now I'm looking for the part about self-directed anger.  (And having a bit of blackberry wine.)

Can you believe it's May?!

After a weekend in Bennett, I'm home to start my new job as a NRFU Enumerator - that's pronounced nar-foo - I almost quit when I found out what the title would be, lol.  I visited a number of NRFU addresses but no one was home so I came back home to work in my yard.  I'll look for them later in the day when people are home from work.

I took some 'before' photos of the yard, hoping that it will motivate me to improve... there is lots of room for improvement.  The back yard is full of quack grass which will need to be poisoned (I think) to get rid of it.  I'd love to find another way but there is just too much and it is too tenacious.  This is the best of the 'before', the others are just too ugly to post.

Spring Showers bring May Flowers

It's been raining for two or three days.  It's been nice, if a bit gloomy but the flowering trees and plants are worth it.  I was able to get the apple trees trimmed back so they look like the espallier they are supposed to be.  And they are blooming - a bonus!  I'll be surprised if any actual apples show up but I'm keeping my hopes up.  The trees have been planted for many years and seldom have they bloomed.  So I am counting that as both Clean it and Fix it!
I'm doing a bit of sewing and have quite a lot more I want to do before I go off to Boston in June.  The census taking job may interfere...though it will be mostly in the evenings, or so I'm told.  Hope you've sent yours in by now!

Back in the Corner again!

I have, once again, painted myself into a corner, pretty literally this time.  I spent a couple of days painting the bathroom at Bennett and didn't get home until late yesterday.  Of course I meant to be home much earlier so I could go to the studio and move the birdbaths along.  Instead when I got there, they were still wrapped up tight and still too soft to work on.  My intent was to get them into the kiln yesterday for a long slow warm up to dry out and get them fired today.  Now all is backed up like a bad toilet and I can't imagine how I will get everything done in the time I have.  Which is what I mean about being back in the corner.  I seem to be unable to stay on top of the things I truely want to get done.  Instead I run off to do something for someone else and then wonder why I can't sleep and don't have new work for the next show.

Didn't I say something just the other day about being okay with that choice?  I'm less okay with it now that time is running out.  Oh, and btw, the grandkids have given me another cold!  Bless them and their generosity.  Well, sitting here complaining won't get those birdbaths finished.

Continuing to feel Wazzed

Things are a bit of a wreck at my house.  Too much time spent away doing more fun things with some very important people.  There will be time to recover and recoup next week.
Mom was here for a couple of days.  We won't have her for a lot longer.  She is 96 after all!  So it is great to do things with her.  She helped me glaze some raku beads and we went out for taco salad and margaritas.  She still enjoys a well made margarita!
It is feeling and looking more like Spring, trees are starting to bud out and spring bulbs are blooming...not so much in my yard.  I've not gotten many planted.  When it is time to plant in the fall, I tend to be done with gardening and can't seem to find the energy or motivation to get them planted.  In fact, I think there are some in the garage that I bought last fall and didn't get into the ground.  Needless to say, they are NOT doing very well there in the cold and dark.
I think (hope) there will be some yard work done tomorrow as part of the whole Easter festivities.  The Bennett bunch will be here and I've bribed my son-in-law with Honey Baked Ham.  Drat...I meant to get a tool from DSK to prune the trees.  Argh!

First Communion Chalices

Since I 've been writing about this I thought I'd post a couple of pictures.  I started making chalices for the kids when my #1 G-daughter went through first communion four years ago and have done it ever since.  I hope it is meaningful for the kids, I know it is for me...a gift I can give them to make this event even more memorable.

Clean the Garden

Today's Clean It project is going to be the patio and herb gardens.  The weather is sunny and warm so it should be lovely out there.
And I am sure I will find something out there to fix!
I am finishing the skirt and jacket TODAY!  Buttons are already on, just need to make the thread loops for them and hem the lining of the skirt.
Mother is here and we are going to repot some house plants, as well.

Between Goals

I am between goals so this is a good time for me to catch back up.  It may even be nice weather - for a few minutes - this being Colorado and all.
     Clean it:  Dishes and Laundry
     Fix it:  Oh, ah!  Maybe one of the bathroom issues
     Finish it:  Hem the lining for the skirt.  It would be nice to have it ready for Easter!
I'll spend some time in the studio too.  I have little hand-built birds started  and I'd like to get more tiles made for encaustics.  I want a number of things to work on before I heat up the wax.  The chalices will most likely be cool enough to come out of the kiln later tonight but I probably won't get them out until tomorrow on the way to church.

Falling Behind

I have been focused on making chalices for the first communion kids at my church and have fallen behind on the Clean It part of my new resolve.  I mentioned the focus on grandkids and then this project came up and now I have sink, counter and dishwasher full of dishes, both clean and dirty.  Fortunately, I know which is which so I should be able to get caught back up tomorrow.  The laundry is also falling behind but I am hopeful I won't let it get too bad.
I am sleeping better most nights which is helping and getting a bit more exercise - Monday was maybe a bit too much.  Ten to twelve runs at Winter Park with my g-daughter and son 'bout put me under!  It was great fun but my knees didn't want to function that evening.  And, we are going to do it again this Monday with more grand kids, on the bunny slopes this time though.  May be easier, may be harder!

Sabotage

Why, when time is the most crunched and I have such a short time to complete an important project, do I sabotage myself?  Since it is so easily predicted how and when I will do it, why can't I exercise more control?  Okay, okay, I am not going to spend a lot of time beating myself up for what is already done - one book (really two novels in one volume) in one sitting - but I do want to get it documented here and attempt  to understand.  I've said before that reading is, for me, an addiction.  Addict:  to give oneself up to some strong habit.
I have chalices to make for first communion, due by Maunday Thursday.  Is there time to get them done?  Yes, just barely.  My intent was to get them finished by Sunday but I've left myself very little chance of making that happen. 
I want to make better choices about reading.  To enjoy reading when I have the luxury to do so, not when it will sabotage my chances of being successful at other important activities.  So now to get out the door and meet this goal.

Chaos!

Yesterday was a day of Grandchild induced chaos.  At some point in the day all four of my grandchildren were at my house - four of them aged 12 to 2.  Four small and not so small children can haul out and spread around a lot of toys! 
In addition, I fixed a huge breakfast for them, bacon, waffles, fruit salad, all from scratch.  Well, I didn't cure the bacon but cooking it sure makes a mess.
We all had fun and everything got put away in the end but that was a good way to wreck havoc on my resolve to Clean it, Fix it, Finish it.

New Lights!

In addition to the new microwave, I have new lights over the surface unit/bar.  I put screw-in converters in the can lights and now I have niffty pendant lights.
We got about six inches of snow today and it is still falling.  Good for skiing on Monday, messy now. 
I'm a bit frustrated because everyone stood me up, to a certain extent tonight.  Christie didn't come into town because I had made plans with Bob, then he called and cancelled because he didn't feel well.  DSK, et.al. came to the show but didn't want to go out to dinner because AM was on a diet.  So I'm home feeling sorry for myself, drinking wine and will probably read.  No energy for Clean, Fix, Finish...guess the work at the studio could fall easily under those catagories.  I'll call that good.

Good Work Done

Dog logs - Done!
Detritus from last year's beans - Done!
Dead leaves from part of the iris - Done!

Dare I plan for tomorrow?
  More flower beds cleaned
  Patio cleaned
  Trash trees chopped out

The weather takes a turn for the worse on Friday.  Dump the snow in the mountains, Please, oh Please.
I am planning to ski with the g-daughter on Monday.

Back At The Beginning

I am back at the place where big things need to be cleaned again.  Vacuum, mop, scrub bathrooms.  This is the point that I slow down and let things pile up.  Hopefully, I can push through this and keep moving forward.
   Clean it:  still those dog logs
   Fix it:  Well, I did get the strip between the diningroom and kitchen installed
   Finish it:  pots and skirt remain on the list

Don't I Wish Spring Were Truly Here!

Working in the yard yesterday was nice.  We should have a few more days of nice weather so I'll get at those dog logs and messy patio. 
I am sleeping quite well, thanks to the "Sleep Easily" method I am using:  http://www.sleepeasily.com/
Today's tasks:
   Clean it:   guest room/laundry
   Fix it:  Oh!Ah! probably one of the things I've listed previously - caulk, floor strip,
   Finish it:  a pot, a skirt, the microwave install?
Not too focused yet this morning...I'll do church first then see...time at the studio is important

Making Choices

One of my daily struggles is what to do when.  Should I go look for porch lights now, go to the studio first, clean the flower beds?  Today I want to be outside working when the weather is nicest and inside at the studio when it is cooler or darker.  Shouldn't that tell me what to focus on and in what order?  Why then do I feel so frustrated, like any choice will be the wrong one.  Someone told me once that it doesn't matter - just DO something.  Didn't I say just that at the top of this blog?  Why the frustration then?
Right now it seems like good sense to go find a light for the porch, get it installed and work on the flower beds.  My normal approach to cleaning the flower beds is to start with the beds that people see first when they come to the house.  And I still feel that is a good method, so no confusion there.  Then try to get to the patio because I see it whenever I let Max out into the backyard, so seeing it cleaned up will lift my spirits and make me feel that I am moving forward.
I can work at the studio until really late - until I run out on energy or inspiration.  Do I have a plan now?  Sounds like it.
      Clean it:  flower beds
      Fix it:  porch light
      Finish it:  one raku/encaustic vessel

I shopped for porch lights to no avail, so I came home and took a better look at the one I have installed.  I reset the time off for 20 minutes and will see how that works for me.
The gift cards for Lowes were at the post office so I bought my new microwave.  Saddly, I am no longer strong enough to lift out the old one.  Man, have they gotten light.  Tomorrow I'll have help and will get the new one installed.
I got the corner fower bed cleaned out - as much as in reasonable since it will get cold again.  I got some primroses when I got the microwave and planted them just behind the fence where I can see them when I come in the front door.
I worked on encaustics for about 2 hours and made good progress.  Now, I just finished cleaning the kitchen after dinner and spent 20 minutes trying to get the crud off around the burners.  I know people whose stove tops are immaculate.  I don't have it in me to make that happen. 
I'm going to drink some wine and hem a skirt.

Back At It

I've had two days off and want to get back on track.  I DID keep the kitchen clean both days.  Good for me!
Today I want to finish a few things in the studio and go to an art opening tonight.  I'll have to see how I feel - residule from 'the procedure'.
Nice weather for the next few days so I want add a couple of outside projects;
      Clean it:  shovel up the dog logs
      Fix it:  make the outside lights work again, both the low-volt and the porch light
      Finish it:  maybe the skirt

Big Day! My appointment with the RotoRooter.

I have about half a day to get anything done then I am out of commission for about 24 hours.  Well, that is not exactly true - I can do anything I want this afternoon as long as I stay close to home.
This AM what I should do is put some glaze on some teapots for the show later this month at the guild.   What I will do is have coffee with one of my SOs. 
Today's list:

• Glaze pots
• Sew jacket
• Caulk counter top - on the list for three days now
• Clean off diningroom table - second day on list
• Find and sort out mini-greenhouse

Tuesday's accomplishments

• Had a good breakfast and cleaned up afterward
• Worked on the new jacket I am making
• Cardio workout at Apex Center!
• Went to postoffice, Costco for Guild stuff, Office Depot, Office Max, PetSmart
• At the Guild I put terra sig on three pots and worked on encaustics for about two hours
• Went to Best Buy for CD player for Sleep Easily, got a box of red wine (remember I nearly finished a bottle of wine last night), grocery store for stuff I need for tomorrow....medical procedure
• Cooked dinner and cleaned up - all dishes are clean and put away except the wine glass I am using
• Break now and then attach the strip between the diningroom and livingroom

Looking at the above list, I can feel really good about how I used my time and energy.  No beating my self up.  A couple of the things I put on the list this morning didn't get done - the diningroom table and caulking around the sink - but I can do those things tomorrow when I am stuck at home...must stay near the bathroom.
I expect to sleep really well tonight as I have the new CD player and the Sleep Easily System.  And it does feel good to walk into the kitchen and see clean counter tops and no clutter.  There is still a lot to do in the kitchen but all I need to do is sustain the effort.
I am trying a bunch of supplements to try to improve my physical well being  - to have more energy and more strength to do what I want to do more easily.  Vitamin D, Fish Oil, Cytle M as well as my 'scripts.

Less Wazzed

I accomplished a lot yesterday
       Clean It - all dishes are clean, one fourth of the kitchen is clean.
       Fix It - mended the laundry hamper
       Finish It - well, I nearly finished a bottle of wine!
I'm hoping that this will give me more peace of mind.
Less clutter around me = less clutter IN me.
I got the Sleep Easily CDs yesterday and listened to Sesson One.  Parts of it make me laugh.  The speaker talks about your 'secret breath'.  But I did relax while listening to it and I did sleep well.
Today's list:
       Clean it - put all the dishes away and clean off the diningroom table
       Fix it - put down the strip between the diningroom and livingroom
       Finish it - caulk around the counter top in my bathroom
The Sleep Easy guy asks, "What is keeping you from sleeping?"  One of the answers for me is that the down comforter is too warm so I realized that I can turn it back and turn up the heating blanket.
He says, "Sit with that question and see what answer comes up."
I like the idea of 'sitting with the question' and am trying to use that here.  What can I do that will make me feel less wazzed?  My family says I go through this fairly often, the whole idea of Clean, Fix, Finish.  I guess I do.  This kind of thing doesn't 'stick' with me.  Guess I get bored and get lazy or busy.  I am going to watch and see what interferes with staying with the plan.

I am wazzed

This is for me - my motivation to GET SOMETHING DONE.  With all due respect to that big company, I'll just say here...Just do something! 
I find it hard to do work that has to be redone in days or hours or minutes.  I can't find motivation in emptying the dishwasher, folding laundry, ironing a shirt (I do know people, closed to me, who iron as often as possible),vacuuming.  Can I just hang a picture and move on?
I like to start things.  Beginnings are great, motivating, something I try to do as often as possible.  Middles are interesting.  There are problems to figure out, how to change from the pattern, seeing something begin to come together.  Finishing is not so good...it may not turn out as hoped, the last bit is boring, it will simple not work...or it may be a raving success and I will expect to want to do it again.  Or others (those pesky others) will want me to do it, make it again.
I have important projects that need finished.  I have two bathrooms, recently remodeled that need just a bit more caulk and a bit of paint scrubbed off and a piece of tile reset.  This has been true for this entire year!  Can I just please finish one of them?  I tried to bribe myself with new towels after I finished the first bathroom but I simply couldn't get myself to wait.  My self doesn't respond well to bribes.